One Sentence Summary of “How to win friends and influence people” : To make friends, influence others and get them in our corner, it is important to know how to look after their ego; this happens after an important change in our everyday behavior, which consists of never criticizing, being genuinely interested in others, smiling, remembering the first name of the person we are speaking with, making them feel important, never telling them they are wrong, talking about our own mistakes before talking about theirs, motivating, sincerely complimenting, and generally always looking after their self esteem.

When “How to Win Friends and Influence People” was published, in 1936, unemployment in America was at 16.9 per cent. It was the tail end of the Great Depression, and virtually no one was hiring. Those with jobs were frantic to hold onto them, and Carnegie’s book included some sound advice for those trying not to get fired. Among its first lessons, for instance, is don’t “criticize, condemn, or complain.” Carnegie offers six rules for getting people to like you, and they all encourage flattery and pleasantries. Rule #1: “Become genuinely interested in other people.” Rule #2: “Smile!” He has twelve additional rules for “winning people to your way of thinking.” Rule #1: “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” Rule #7: “Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.” Carnegie advised that people aspire to be—to borrow Chesterfield’s favorite adjective—“easy”; that they learn to blend in.

Carnegie’s book is a compendium of case studies of great men and their achievements, men like Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, and Lloyd George, Great Britain’s Prime Minister during the First World War. While Carnegie writes about great men, his book is largely intended for their employees. And although Carnegie’s advice was applicable to the fearful workers of the Great Depression, the book does not read as if it was written during a difficult or dire moment. It is a happy book.

Carnegie believed that our actions dictate our thoughts, that we can train ourselves to be happy, smart, and productive by behaving as if we are. If managers treated their employees as if they were competent, they would become competent. If employees treated their managers as if they were wise and compassionate, they would stop behaving like tyrants. All anyone wants, Carnegie writes, is to feel appreciated. If you’re generous with your perceptions of others, you can have all the friends and influence in the world.

How to make friends and influence people is a great read. Pick up a copy today.